Shermeeen

Till the sun grows cold, and the stars grow old.

Friday, January 13, 2012
Last blogged @

It's been such a tough week.
The signs are so prominent, it's showing on my face. And I've been sleeping rather early this week because I'm afraid, so I sleep to stop thinking.

2012 is so tough.

Everything is not going right.

It's only the beginning of the year, yet it gives me the feeling like I can't even live past this year.
How can the difference between 2011 and 2012 be so drastic?

Feels like no matter how hard I try to make it good, it still turns against me and make me feel unhappy.

Actually it's just one thing that's making it bad.

Yes, internship.

Majority of the people have already gone of their interview / already known their placement, yet, I am still waiting here like one idiot, waiting for Pico to call me.

Maybe I'm just giving myself pressure.

But it's always so nice having mum, my friends and the boyfriend to withstand my whining and channel some positive energy to me throughout this entire week hahahahaha :')

Well other than that, we have finally finished the library event. I guess.

And for the first time, I daringly played truant by running away from the teacher in his face. Erm, well, if I took my attendance already, then it's not counted right?

Also had a site visit to RWS with DEPM. It was considerably the most tiring day in the week, from reaching school early to tie balloons, going back to the library immediately after lesson to pump more helium balloons and giving them out, skipping class, as mentioned above, and going to RWS to walk like an idiot.

Guess the most enjoyable moment was getting to shoot photos using Wei Liang's DSLR, I'm so appealed to the idea of owning one too.

Call me superficial if you say I just want to look cool (even though I don't think I will be even after having one, but just saying) owning a DSLR blah blah blah and that the photos I take turn out like shit. But I'm seriously quite intrigued by the manual functions. I actually bother reading up the specifications of the camera online, even though I barely understand 3/4 of what is stated there.

Yes, my G12 can do that too. SO WHY AM I NOT CONTENTED.

Plus if I want one, I would definitely have to fork out my own money. WHERE ON EARTH AM I GOING TO FIND CASH. I am already so heavily in debt at this point of time. And what's going to happen to my G12?

HOW CAN I HAVE THIS THOUGHT.

I deserve to be shot.

I need to psycho myself. I need to discourage myself.

Stop being materialistic.

Why is this happening every year? Just last year, same time, I was bugging mum to allow me to get my G12.
And now... History repeats itself.

But...

Sigh...

Be rational. Be rational. Be rational.

But...

Labels: Photography, School

Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Last blogged @

/edit

In continuation to my very depressing and pessimistic post below, I have come to update the world about how my 2 hours of lesson went.

I very bravely submitted my photos for a critique session.

And I was the second last in line to show my photos to the class.

I think I was more worried about what if others had awesome pro aspiring shots, and mine looked nothing like theirs.

So anyway, when my turn came...

The teacher opened the folder...

And...

Realised...

It was empty :O

Okay, embarrassing.

So I had to go up and resubmit my photos again.

Then...

He reopened the folder now that the photos are in, and started commenting.

Guess how it went?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

He actually said:

VERY GOOD!!! *beam*

He did ask me to reshoot one. But that shot wasn't a very bad shot either. Just that I had room for improvement ;)

*heave huge sigh of relief*

I feel so flattered.

Seriously, I think I've gotten panic attacks from trying to rack my brains on how to submit 6 photos. Yeah, I was defeated by mere 6 photos!!!

And I'm so glad that at least my 1 hour walk around the canal was worth it!!! And me attending rallies was worth it!!! And... me living in such an awesome area in Singapore, is so worth it too!!!

I got all my shots from the neighbourhood areas!

Woohoo I love my home!

So I can very 放心 and go submit my photos!

-

It's Week 4 already.

Everything is going too fast for me to handle.

MSTs are in 2-3 weeks time.

I have a major project due around that time and next week, I have to hand in my 6 pictures for my photography lesson.

Yes, this is what I'm going to talk about.

In about 15 minutes time, I have to leave home (class was cancelled this morning, and even though I do not wish to go for GEMs, I still have to, in case I miss out anything important. Call me guai kia please.) and face the feeling of being inferior to the rest of my classmates.

Actually, I know I'm thinking too much.

I've been desperately attempting to take many nice photos of EVERYTHING.

BUT

EVERYTHING seems to fail on me.

I'm scared that the weeny bit of passion I tried up build up in me over months is going to be crashed just because of this 6 stupid photos.

I don't know.

Why is it that when I take photos on my camera, it looks so good. Yet, when I put it into my com, it looks just like a lump of shit?!

I have no face to show them out to the world.

Just this morning, I took an hour's walk around the canal behind my house (I haven't done that for years), trying to find some other photos that I can hand it.

I admit, I have some that I'm kinda pleased with, so I sent them to mum, thinking that she can help me choose some.

But the feedback I received was, nothing extraordinary.

WHUT?!?!

Nuff said.

That was painful.

So right now, I am dreading the lesson that I have to go in about another 1 hour's time.

What if my teacher looks at me photos and spits at them?!

I hate failing and rejection.

What if I cry in class?

Dammit.

Times like this make me hate myself.

I hope there will be miracles later.

Wait for my news.

Labels: Photography, School

Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Last blogged @

Third day since school reopen.

I'm trying to do my best to find time to write here.

Since today's Wednesday, I've got my GEMs - Photography lesson!

Ok, before I move on to talking about the lesson, I think I would just want to highlight something.

I find some people so hard to approach cos they just look so unfriendly!

I'm not saying that I'm an extremely friendly person or what, but sometimes just trying to smile or make polite gestures at a person you would try to befriend with, or rather, just someone to acknowledge your presence, is just so difficult!!!

It's like, you try to make eye contact with them, but all they do is give you a blank face, and that gives me the impression that I'm not worthy enough to talk to you.

Like what?!?!

Well okay, my point of mentioning this is...

Take today for example.

I go to my lesson alone, thinking that "Oh well, time to make new friends all over again"

But I don't like to take the initiative everytime!

I don't want to go around and ask stupid questions like, (and this especially applies to those who come to classes with their friends)

"Oh hi, are you taking this class also?"

Then they give you a "yeah"

Then I go, "oh! What's your name"

*Inserts name* And if they bother to, they would ask for your name too.

And then I carry on asking them about their course and so on, then I later realise that, hmm maybe they are not interested in making friends with me. And they carry on talking in their own little world.

I don't know. If you are older than me, isn't it weird that you have a junior taking the initiative to come up with topics just to make friends with you?

Like hello?!?!

Will befriending me make you lose a piece of flesh?!

Wait.

I'm not desperate to make friends okay (okay a little, maybe). But that's the whole purpose when you see new people right!!!

You know, my initial plan is just to stand outside the class or while inside the class, someone would come over and introduce themselves to me and carry out a comfortable conversation with me.

How nice would that be!!!

Hate it when I go talk to someone, and you give me answers like you can't be bothered to.

Fine.

I'll leave you alone.

-

Now back to my main point, at least I made a new friend! And I hope she doesn't forget me next week!

Frankly speaking, I think I like this module.

It's kinda interesting! Like I'm gonna have chances to expose myself to different photography techniques.

And even though now it's basics first (cos I've already covered the same things during my product training and my workshop), I find it even more relevant when the lecturer talks about it.

Maybe I was the only one who was nodding and acknowledging that he's talking, he kept looking at me. LOL.

When he showed us his works, I could feel a lot from his pictures. There's this feeling of being moved and touched.

I wanna take these kind of photos too!

Just that, he's kinda strict and probably expects a lot from us.

I read about his profile, and wowwwww, he's kinda reputable I must say.

I've probably got a lot to ask and consult him, but I don't want the other classmates to think that I'm weird or trying to suck up to him :/

I shall see how it goes.

Well, maybe photography will become an aspect that I'm really interested in.

So, probably I'll post up some of my photos here or on Facebook / Twitter so that people can give me comments. Then maybe I can consider showing them to the class and my lecturer during sharing sessions.

Kinda looking forward to next week's GEMs. Just that, there's going to be quite a huge load of work to do, but hopefully my growing interest will not stop me from exploring more.

Labels: Photography, School

Friday, April 15, 2011
Last blogged @

Completed my fundamental photography workshop this morning!!!

Had to wake up at 7am! And I was the first to reach!!! Even earlier than my teacher!

Wah my first time going to Funan man. I know I suaku lah okay!

Fort Canning Park - the place I had my lesson!

There were only 4 students, including me. And all girls!

In the morning, I tweeted that, hopefully they wouldn't come in groups like all friend friend, if not I'll feel damn awkward. And best would be all aunties and uncles, cos I like it better that way :P

And this is my lao shi - Keith!

Yay and take a look at my photography attempts okay! I only post the nicer ones (under teacher guidance). All my anyhow take one, damn fail one, I never upload most of them!

This was a random shot, so maybe my teacher will fail me or something.

I think this photo damn artistic. But my standard still very far off from Keith lah.

Trying to capture faces.

And buildings.

Then we tried taking water droplets.

In the last hour of our 4.5 hour workshop, we were tasked to go around and take photos. We were to choose the photos we were most happy with and show them to Keith. And these photos had to be satisfactory for him.

Hmm...

You know, that was tough.

I think I still can't quite fully grasp the concept of adjusting all shutter speed, aperture, ISO at once. I mean, I can do it, but I'm still not fully familiar with the controls.

Look at the photos I took!

These 2 were actually satisfactory! Just that, I wasted the picture by not going closer enough.

The water droplets on it were so intricate and if I did a better shot, it would be very very nice cos of the colours.

Even before I left Fort Canning, I wanted to go and take a proper shot, but I scared malu cos everyone was leaving, and it was weird if I stayed on the hill alone right.

Then the following all fail.

He said my composition is kinda bad :( Give me your comments.

Surprisingly, I wasn't really tired after the workshop. Just that the weather was mad hot! But at least, I was a little more educated ;)

Kinda enjoyed myself! Good experience! Hopefully I'll learn more in school!

Now, check out the night view from my house!!!

Pretty right!!!

And good news!!!

I'm going to Star Awards 2011 on the 24th with mum!!!

Wheeeeee!~

I managed to get only 2 tickets due to limited tickets. If not I wanted 5 one lor, then can go with the poly girls! Tsk tsk tsk.

Anyway, we'll be sitting together with all the Andie Chen fans. Hmm...

I mean, it's only right that we do that, cos I got the tickets through Andie's friend / I don't know who.

Just hope mum won't feel out of place. Anyway, I will be sticking with her. Not like I know the other fans.

Also asked mum to dress younger :P But aiya, everyone says we look like sisters (think I look old only), and I'm a "mum" myself too.

Only sad thing is, I've kinda lost my craze for Andie Chen ever since he got together with ***. So I feel a tinge of guilt for koping tickets like that.

K lah, but I will still support him on that day!

Trolol. Can imagine mum clapping her hands to support other people who are fighting for the awards with Andie Chen.

But main point is, make mum happy mah!!! She want to go!!! ^^

So, very sorry, got to pangseh the poly girls cos I only can choose 1 :(

Yay going to RWS leh!!! Like a star~~~

Labels: Photography

Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Last blogged @

Went for my complimentary product training just now over at Keppel Bay Tower.

Why the guys working there all so good looking one? *shy* I think I only absorbed half of whatever information the guy said.

NOT COS HE GOOD LOOKING SO I NEVER LISTEN OKAY!!!

He has a belly :/ and not very good looking. Meh.

It's because I was overwhelmed with information about what my small little G12 can do :O

The first segment was easy to understand cos it's all the basics.

The second one... I think I was yawning, smsing, fiddling with the controls and kinda missed out on what he said. I tried very hard, but I think without hands on practical, it was kind of difficult to comprehend you know!

So I shall wait till Friday since I'm going for my outdoor shoot workshop!

I hope the teacher be very patient with me :/

Anyway, in approximately 12 hours time, I will have to do my 2nd round of GEMs selection. Wah hate it ttm.

And now my 2 top choices are - Backpacking and Photography.

(I'm considering to take Arts & Humanities first unless *choychoy* no choice then I have to take the shitty Science & Technology this sem, but I haven't thought so far)

It's a dilemma cos...

I have always wanted to take backpacking every since I was choosing Gems for the first time.

And I kept whining for the entire sem cos I didn't get it the first time round, and was determined to get it this time.

HOWEVER.

Now that I've gotten my G12, and it's so awesome and cool and I paid good bucks for it...

There's no reason why I should not put it to good use right!!!

And obviously I should buck up on my photography skills!!!

Okay. So that's why I've listed photography as an other choice for Gems.

I read the synopsis and I think it's interesting cos it'll enhance my photography skills.

So I'm kinda hyped up and ready for the assignments that will be give out (LOL)

Then come again, since I've always have had a passion for travelling and mytian bestowed me such a good chance to learn backpacking, I don't see why I should not go for it!!!

AIYO.

I had a short discussion with mum and she told me to go for backpacking.

But after explaining to her the outline of the module for photography, she said that that will be more interesting!

K lah, I HAVE MADE UP MY MIND.

I think

I am going to choose...

The Photography module.

And I don't see a reason why I shouldn't get in cos there's 280 seats!!! If I don't, I'll kill! . . .

So...