Friday, February 10, 2012
Last blogged @ 1:14 PM

So what have I gotten in the end?

Have I really won?

I think I did...

But, with that comes consequences. I'd probably tarnish the school's reputation, left bad impressions of myself to all the involved lecturers. And I finally found out what angst my course manager has.

I guess,  I really complicated things. I made everyone unhappy.

And me, being me, still can't figure out why I'm so useless.

I only know how to cry.

Forever.

Is it even normal to cry?

In the midst of this entire saga, I felt bad. I felt awful. I felt that maybe I was really creating trouble. Maybe, I should have shut up and accept my fate. Why must I be different from others and make myself look bad in front of others. Why did I want change, yet, only know how to cry in front of others. It was so awful hearing someone twist your words and put you down in the face.

But, I think I was really scared or somewhat. I don't know. I think these were leftover tears from yesterday. It was worse. Urgh, I feel dumb.

Now that I've made my decision, I can't regret.

Hope the next 6 months will be different.

Let's hope this has come to an end. I'm so tired I don't want to fight this war anymore.